countdown has begun

it's now less than three weeks until I go. still feeling relatively calm about it all. However, as my mum pointed out to me yesterday, due to the fact that I've gone on the pill, will be taking antibiotics for malaria prevention and have had to have a whole load of injections pre-departure, "you're changing your whole physiology for this thing?!" Indeed I am?! So how do I know what I feel? Or what's as a result of hormonal changes because I'm three weeks into taking the (mini) pill? How do I know if it's me any more? I'm not entirely sure.... I've been quite flat and unexcited... perhaps I'm being calm and collected about the thing. and brave. or perhaps i'm just flat because I'm taking hormones every day. How do I know? so many changes, psychological and physiological.... and that's even before I've started on the antibiotics....